Hope

My birthday rolled around this past week and, sadly, I don’t find them as amusing as I once did.  Don’t get me wrong (Did the Pretenders just pop into your head? Your earworm for today!), I’m thankful to have made it this far. I am also thankful that so many people thought enough of me to send me well-wishes and gifts.  Oh, did I mention my mother-in law’s amazing chocolate cake?  I got a me-sized version.

For the fifth time in my life, my age is the same backward and forward and I simply prefer peace to the party these days.  I spent most of the past week eating chocolate cake, drinking my favorite tea, and watching a few of my favorite movies. I may not like being alone, but sometimes it’s just easier. I’ve often said that I am the most introverted extrovert you will ever meet.

Depression is a serpent that tends to slither around things that should be celebrations. While not venomous, it is a constrictor and can take your life just as easily. The moments of laughter and happiness I find in the company of others are quickly suffocated by the crushing darkness that returns when I’m alone again.  I often find it easier to stay home in the familiar than endure the emotional crash that follows the excitement of the unknown.  I know it isn’t good for me and I really don’t want this to be my life.  This is no life! So tomorrow (I think it’s today already!), I’m stepping out into the big world to try and shed that skin. Here’s hoping that it leads to better things and a really interesting post for later.  I still have HOPE!

#hope #depression