Irreconcilable Differences

Photo by Tingey Injury Law Firm on Unsplash

Most of the time, you appreciate it when people express sympathy for your loss.  You smile and say thank you when someone expresses their empathy and says they can only imagine the pain you must be experiencing.

Then, there’s the dumb broad that proceeds to compare the loss of your one and only love to her really messy divorce.

(To be read in the thickest of Southern drawls. Hey, I’m Southern! It’s what I hear in my head.)

“Honey, I know just how you feel! I know how lost I was when my divorce was final.”

FOR THE LOVE OF ALL THAT IS HOLY…

DON’T COMPARE THE DISSOLUTION OF YOUR MARRIGE TO THE DEATH OF SOMEONE’S SPOUSE!

Death and I did not appear before God and hash out who got custody of my husband, nor did I get the option of fighting for visitation.  We did not mutually agree that we were better off apart and move on to breathe the air in separate spaces. Death didn’t walk away with half of my belongings. However, Death was awarded my reason for existing, and I was not offered a settlement that would provide me an ounce of comfort.

I understand how painful divorce can be, especially if it is brought about by infidelity and/or abuse.  My mother has been divorced multiple times and the final divorce was due to the horrific physical and mental abuse she suffered. However, she is also a widow, and she will tell you there is no comparison!

 In divorce, you can both still breathe.  You have the option to loathe one another and glare as you pass on the street. You can both meet someone new.  You can both make a fresh start and show each other how much better you’re doing apart. You even have the option of marrying each other again!

In Death, you cannot reconcile.  Death offers no consolation for the love that remains.  Death is FINAL.

The only thing we are left with is HOPE.  HOPE that with time we can find a new version of peace.  HOPE that there is an afterlife where we are reunited with the love we lost and…

HOPE

that we never meet another dumbass that compares Death to divorce!