How Do You Like Your Catfish?
Photo by Yosuke Ota on Unsplash
I prefer mine fried with a little spicy remoulade on the side. Instead of a real catch of the day, what I hooked were internet bottom feeders. That’s right! I ventured into the internet dating game. But before that, there was the lesson…NEVER SAY NEVER!
About four months after my husband passed away, I began a relationship with a man I’d known about 14 years. He lost his wife several years prior. I bumped into him one day and he asked if I’d like to go out sometime. I was drowning in loneliness and jumped at the chance to spend time with someone who I thought would understand what I was going through.
On the first date, he told me, “You won’t like me. I’m an asshole.” I tend to think people sell themselves short. I laughed it off and told him I didn’t believe that. Besides, I’d known him for 14 years and he’d never been anything but nice to me. WELL, you know that old saying, when someone tells you what they are, believe them? WHY DO I NEVER LISTEN?
It was an on again off again disaster that left me angry with him for making me feel worthless and angry with myself for allowing him to do it. I knew better! I’d witness that type of degradation a lot in my life and swore I would NEVER let that happen to me! Ahhh, but desperation is a dangerous thing. It is a phantom that sneaks in undetected, clouds your senses, wilts your strength, and causes you to cling to the unhealthiest of things. He ended the relationship, not me. I guess it was God’s way of saving me from the phantom.
While God may have exorcised the desperation, the loneliness became my shadow. I discovered that I enjoyed alone time, but I certainly didn’t enjoy being alone. A friend suggested I try online dating (Did I mention she’s a lot younger than I am?). I never dated much in my teens; maybe once or twice. When I met my husband, it was truly love at first sight. We went out twice, a few weeks later he moved in with me and we spent the next 26 years together. I never went through the ups and downs of dating that most people experience in their teens. This was all new to me!
I registered with a few sites that leaned more toward people of my age group. I was very honest in my conversations. I didn’t want the cerebral palsy to be a surprise. First dates are uncomfortable enough. Boy, did that send them running! I don’t think I’ve ever seen a chat go blank so quickly. I met two people in person and texted with one for a while.
The following is a list of things I learned from online dating:
I don’t like being a selection on a meu.
There is another type of catfish. It’s a disgusting creature that’s sole purpose is deceit. No remoulade can fix that!
Men my age want women half my age.
Men my age who want women my age are usually bipolar and/or are looking for a caregiver.
It’s ok for men to look like hell, but women must look like porn stars.
It is assumed that all widows have money.
If he has nice conversations with you about his day and texts you pictures of all the places he goes that he doesn’t invite you to, he’s a narcissistic asshole!
That’s enough for now. It’s four in the morning and I should really be asleep.